[If you prefer the cleaned up version: it is in the next message]

Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Birdy Thetans (IRC at 4am PST)
From: dkeith@xenu.best.com (Ex Mudder)
Date: Thu, 21 Nov 1996 08:46:57 GMT
--------
   Yes, I got permission from drb and Mirele to do this.
   No to mention Marina, just because.
   This was what was behind my "at paws over nest" post.
   Don't you wish you were on IRC at 4am too?

>......................................................................
><Xmudder> why do cats like running into windows?
><drb> Birdy Thetans?
><Xmudder> is THAT what they watch so intently?
><drb> Xmudder, You bet.
><drb> When a Birdy Thetan blows, the cat gives chase.
><Xmudder> ...leaving behind a ridge in the carpet
><drb> Of course, the Birdy Thetan heads straight for the nearest daylight
><drb> ... and often runs *smack* into a window.
><Xmudder> what happens when you get a cluster of birdy thetans?
><drb> The cat, in hot pursuit, hits the glass soon after.
><drb> "ridge on the carpet" :-)
><drb> I hear that Birdy Thetans are extremely NESTy.
><Xmudder> sometimes, the Birdy Thetans are so confused that they try
>to come back, and the cat must audit it with its paws until it
>realises its true nature
><Xmudder> "At Cause over String"
><drb> BTs clustered form NESTs.
><drb> Xmudder, You mean "Claws over NEST", I think.
><Xmudder> no, "At Paws over NEST"
><drb> Oh.  OK.
><Xmudder> and when cats groom each other, they are actually trying to
>convince a Birdy Thetan to blow?
><drb> NEST will certainly give one pause, especially if it's a windowpane.
><drb> Xmudder, I think you've got the makings of a Church, there.
>*** mirele_ has joined channel #scientology ***
><drb> We're blowing Birdy Thetans off of cats.
><drb> It's a stunning Technology.
><drb> Punning, rather.
><mirele_> hehe
><mirele_> has a cat here that could benefit from blowing Birdy
>Thetans
><Xmudder> heh...
><Xmudder> drb: yup...
><Xmudder> Birdy Thetans must be audited by running either Incident 1
>or Incident 2
><drb> mirele_, You see, Xmudder made a profound observation: For no
>apparent reason, cats will jump up and run into glass windowpanes.
><mirele_> heh
><drb> The explanation is obvious: Cats are infested with Birdy Thetans.
><Xmudder> Incident one consists of being groomed.
><drb> Every so often, a Birdy Thetan will blow,
><mirele_> and what happens when it blows?
><drb> ... and the newly-freed BT heads straight for the nearest daylight.
>The cat gives chase, and smacks into the windowpane.
><mirele_> LOL!
><mirele_> so cats have something on us?
><drb> Birdy Thetans can pass through glass, you see.
><mirele_> they can see their blown thetans?
><drb> Cats are Advanced Spiritual Beings.
><Xmudder> Incident 2 consistes of a great cat who tortured the birdy
>thetans until they forgot that they were omnipitent beings, and infest
>the cats
><drb> BTs will cluster into NESTs.
><Xmudder> Birdy Thetan engrams can be restimulated by a cat.
><Xmudder> there is the "being batted around the room" image
><mirele_> I hope you guys are logging this.
><drb> And can only be audited out by applying "Claws over NEST" (or Paws),
>as appropriate.
><mirele_> you need to post it to a.r.s :)
><Xmudder> and the "carried around and dropped" incident.
><drb> I have a log.  It would have to be edited a bit.
><mirele_> mmm. great.
><mirele_> really, you guys should edit and post this :)
><Xmudder> working on it...
><drb> We need to explain the acronymn NEST.
><drb> Something feline, solid, massy.
><Xmudder> Mirele: when was Xenu living with you?
><mirele_> March-May 1995
><Xmudder> Xenu the Cat caused incident 2
><Xmudder> 16 months ago, a great Cat named Xenu would stalk, kill,
>drag around, bury, and dig up birds.  He would then torture them for
>several days before leaving them in a litter box.
><drb> Are you sure Xenu wasn't a mean and mangy dog?
><mirele_> nope.
><drb> Oh.  I guess not.
><mirele_> Xenu was a little gray kitty with a stumpy tail.
><drb> Dogs care not a whit about Birdies.
><mirele_> drb: what about Hunting Dogs?
><mirele_> They care about Birdies.
><drb> mirele_, Birdie Dogs?  You can't mean ... BDs!?
><Xmudder> A cat will often have to run the following incidents on the
>Birdy Thetan to cause it to blow:
><Xmudder> Being carried around and dropped; Being batted across the
>room; Being chased around a room; Being swatted; Being groomed (to
>restimulate the memory of being eaten).
><drb> LOLOLOLOL
><mirele_> heheh
><Xmudder> I need a good summary of incident one...
><drb> You mean LRH's version of Inc I?
><Xmudder> no, a feline version...  Xenu the cat is incident 2...
><drb> I'm embarassed to admit, I've forgotten the LRH version of Inc 1./
><mirele_> it involves a cherub, a loud snap and some other crap.
><Xmudder> drb: big bang, cherub, chairiot...
><drb> Oh yeah.
 <snip>
><Xmudder> Sometimes a Birdy Thetan can take control of a Cat.  This
>will result in the cat behaving in a Supressive way, for example:
>enjoying water coming when called
><Xmudder> I need some more...
><drb> Xmudder, I've gotta go.  Do you have a log (assuming you want to
>reveal the new BT Tech for the benefit of a.r.s cat-lovers).
><Xmudder> I have no log.  you have my permission to post the log of
>this conversation.
><drb> Sorry I can't continue this valuavble reseacrh. Trouvble with my
>log is there are no Actions.
><Xmudder> no actions I saw...
><drb> I'll save what I've got, and email you a copy.
><Xmudder> do your best
><drb> Xmudder, what's your email addrs?


In the marketplace of ideas that is the Internet, a lawsuit
is generally considered the last refuge of the incompetent

========
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: At Paws Over NEST
From: dkeith@xenu.best.com (Ex Mudder)
Date: Thu, 21 Nov 1996 10:40:04 GMT
--------

"When a Birdy Thetan blows, the cat gives chase, leaving behind a
ridge in the carpet. Of course, the Birdy Thetan heads straight for
the nearest daylight and often runs *smack* through a window. The cat,
in hot pursuit, hits the glass soon after."

"Birdy Thetans are extremely NESTy. BTs clustered form NESTs."

"76 weeks ago, a Cat named Xenu would stalk, kill, drag around, bury,
and dig up birds.  He would then torture them for several days before
leaving them in a litter box."

"A cat will often have to run the following incidents on the Birdy
Thetan to cause it to blow:

Being carried around and dropped
Being batted across the room
Being chased around a room
Being swatted
Being groomed (to restimulate the memory of being eaten)."

"Sometimes a Birdy Thetan can take control of a Cat.  This will result
in the cat behaving in a Supressive way, for example:
   enjoying water
   coming when called
   refusing to shred furniture"

  "Behaviours such as this will prevent the cat from achieving a state
of Operating Feline."



In the marketplace of ideas that is the Internet, a lawsuit
is generally considered the last refuge of the incompetent