Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Anti-Scn Jokes on "Nightstand"
From: peegee@newshost.li.net (Merchant of Chaos)
Date: 7 Dec 1995 07:25:12 GMT

This past weekend, the talk-show spoof "Nightstand" did a "cult show."  
For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it is set up to look like a 
typical daytime talk show...only all the participants are actors, and the 
lines are scripted.  The only "real" people are the studio audience 
members, but even some of them are actors who have been planted there to 
ask phony questions.  The host of the show is "Dick Dietrick" played by 
Timothy Stack.

The topic of last week's show was "cults" and it was  HYSTERICAL!!!  They 
promised to look at "both sides of cults----the kooks who join them and 
the wackos who start them!"  The show opened with a female "cult member" 
from a fictitious group called "The Children of Yerri."  After she began 
speaking in a typical cult jargon, Dick Deitrick complained, "I have to 
get me an English-to-Yerri Dictionary!"

Then they brought out the cult leader, and it was quickly revealed that 
he had his female followers engaging in prostitution.  (This show always 
has to go for the "sex" angle!)  The funniest part was when the former 
cult member, who was silhouetted behind a screen because she supposedly 
wanted her identity concealed, began speaking.  In order to disguise her 
voice, she preceded each comment she made by sucking the air out of a 
helium balloon!  This shtick had me rolling on the floor!!!!

In the next segment, they brought out a "deprogrammer" who immediately 
announced that his "organization" is "conveniently located across the 
street from $cientology centers around the country."  This prompted wild 
laughter and applause from the studio audience!!!  The deprogrammer then 
explained the warning signs of being in a cult...one of which was "You 
find yourself at more than one party with Tom Cruise."

In the show's final segment, they introduced somebody who had supposedly 
been "successfully deprogrammed".  The guy spoke with exactly the same 
mannerisms and tone of voice as the deprogrammer, which shows that the 
folks at "Nightstand" are determined to make fun of BOTH sides of every 
issue.  Finally, they brough the cult member's mother, who after yelling 
at the cult leader, found herself captivated by his charm.  By the end of 
the episode, the mother, the deprogrammer, the deprogrammed former cult 
member, and the host, Dick Dietrick, were all singing together on stage, 
while the other former member, the one who wanted her identity kept 
secret, ran out from behind the screen and attacked the cult leader.  
(Every episode of this show usually ends with some sort of fistfight.)  
The woman was dragged off the set screaming and yelling, and it reminded 
me of the Geraldo show fiasco of 1991, when Scientologists were so 
successful at taking over the show, that a stunned Steve Hassan and 
Monica Pignotti were left screaming and yelling backstage.

The show was very funny, and the jokes were quite clever.  It was obvious 
that the writers of the show were well educated about cults, because you 
have to have knowledge about a topic in order to make fun of it that well.

My favorite one-liner from the show was when the host said to the cult 
member:

"I'm not laughing *at* you.  I'm laughing *for* you."

If I hear that the show is going to be repeated, I'll let you know.