Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: schaf@socrates.ucsf.edu (Chris Schafmeister)
Subject: Re: Study Technology
Date: Thu, 3 Nov 1994 09:59:52 GMT

axg708@cscgpo.anu.edu.au (Ashraf Ghebranious) writes:

[text deleted]


>Have they bothered to inform the government that they have decided to educate 
>people? Have they told the ANC? I dont think so becasue they have no knowledge 
>of any alledged education schemes. this surprises me because if there is any 
>the mother Co$ needs good press at the moment. They have NEVER turned down an 
>oppurtunity to look good. If they are in South Africa, it appears to be a 
>covert operation.

Yes, it was a clandestine operation.

It was a dark night in the summer of 1992,
1.5 million scientologists, all dressed in black pajamas
were floating on innertubes off the coast of South Africa.
Under the cover of a new moon they bobbed on the surface of the
water waiting for "Roseanne" to end and for everyone to go
to sleep.  When the moment was ripe, they struck!  Silently they 
paddled up to the beaches using 3.0 million "Water Willie Flippers" 
(purchased at a Walmart sale one week prior).  They crept through 
the sleeping townships searching for illiterate children.  Once 
locating their target, they proceeded to teach them to read 
"They're Iz know suck THING as uh FaT CEl" which was typed
on blue paper with blue ink.  Once the child was indoctrinated 
into scientology thinking, these "Word Warriers" crept out of the 
townships back to their deflating inner-tubes and began
paddling back out to sea where garbage barges from New York
were waiting to return them to the United States.

The operation inadvertantly became clandestine when, thanks to "Hubbard 
Management Tech.(tm)", the memo from David Miscavige directing 
that the ANC and the international press be notified of 
this fabulous gift was lost behind a file cabinet.


[text deleted]

>>These programs work; they raise self esteem through literacy, and they
>>also make people in the inner cities employable who would otherwise resort
>>to dealing drugs for a living. These programs are doing wonderful things
>>in the inner city, and have done tremendous good in South Africa, China,
>>Costa Rica, South America and other countries.

And on Jupiter, young "Diaphanous Zats" were taught to sing
"Ulpebian Taste Ideographs" through the use of Hubbard Study technology!
A "droner" from the air city "Phlotz" said: "Hubbard Study Technology
has made it possible for my young 'absorbers' to begin expelling
their digestive chambers within two "zlangers".

You need evidence?!?! 

Just phone Applied Scholastics offices on Ganymede.



[text deleted]

>Ashraf Ghebranious


You know why I like scientologists?

They make me look normal.



.Chris.
-- 
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Christian E.A.F. Schafmeister               Biophysics graduate student
University of California, San Francisco      UUCP: ucbvax!ucsfcgl!schaf
"Biophysics . . . THE future."             INTERNET: schaf@cgl.ucsf.edu