Essay: Scientology in the year 2039

By Tilman Hausherr

Based on ideas of L. Ron Hubbard, Diane Klein, Jeff Jacobsen and Grady Ward

In the year 2039, a cleared USA has become a reality. In the US, the scientology party has won the majority. Finally, ethics could be put in. First came the psychiatrists. Most have been indicted for prescribing criminal drugs like prozac, lithium, haldol, etc. The most notorious psychiatrists have been get rid off with the Guillotine, a device invented and patented by L. Ron Hubbard in 1955. The rest of the psychiatrists are re-educated in mass education camps and will soon become standard auditors.

The problem of unethical press has been solved. The reader's digest, a magazine founded by L. Ron Hubbard, prints stories and nice anecdotes and is widely read. The media is staffed by people trained by the Freedom school of journalism, which is the most prestigious institute for ethical reporting, which also sends ethical stories through worldwide press wires.

The internet no longer exists. As L. Ron Hubbard said, "if it isn't written, it isn't true". Mail rules. The US Post office enforces ethics by scanning every mail, so that out-ethics situations can be handled quickly.

Every person is implanted a tracking device. Thanks to this, it is made sure that everyone gets on course regularly, and nobody blows. All homes have a foto of L. Ron Hubbard in every room and a bust in the entrance.

Handicapped people are fully cared for. There are camps for these people, where they can prove that they are a part of society, by raising their stats. They are allowed to work in exchange for food. Handicapped people who prefer not to work can drop their bodies to get on with their next life; these bodies are disposed off quickly without noise or sorrow.

Mental illnesses no longer exist. The introspection rundown is practiced 100% standardly, and people either get sane or get moved to jail, where they can meet others, and rehabilitate themselves. Since the passing of the "siberia bill" in 2015, 20% of the population live in Alaska, which has been tranformed into a big rehabilitation camp. Each of the barracks has the text "We'd rather have you dead than incapable" (by L. Ron Hubbard) engraved at the door, and indeed: no one is incapable, everyone has tremendous wins.

Education is as successful as never before. A survey by the Tom Marcellus institute of history indicates that 99.98% of adult people can use a dictionary and a reel-to-real tape recorder. Calculus is no longer taught; instead, construction is planned with postulates.

Child education is also better than ever. 99.9% of children are audited before the age of 4, according to the Tony Strawn institute of child education. At the age of 6, children are allowed to join the Sea Org. People having attested to The State of Clear are entitled to vote.

Industry production is up and at a highest ever. Every thursday at 2pm all stats all around the world are reported to Clearwater, FL. Forged statistics are quickly discovered and handled. The production of dictionaries and clay is at a highest ever.

Law Enforcement is fully successful, and members practice R2-45 auditor training every day. According to a survey of the Eugene Ingram institute of investigation, the crime rate has dropped 5% every year. Downstat people are arrested, indicted and sentenced even before they commit crimes, and upstat people are encouraged to enforce ethics freely.

Women's fashion is getting more and more diverse. There are now *three* different uniforms for girls, based on the legendary design that Helena Kobrin, the glamorous celebrity attorney and fashion designer made in the last millenium, that has been popular ever since.

The sun never sets on Scientology!

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