From: Kim Baker Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Subject: FREE AGAIN!!!! Date: Thu, 17 Nov 1994 11:49:24 GMT Hi, I'm back, I'm feeling great, and I am RELISHING all this freedom. People have been wonderful. Part of the healing process for me, is a rigorous self- analysis - looking at how I got into Scientology four years ago, and reviewing the various events. Some of this has yielded some interesting insights, such as how I was manipluated, finding out what technique was used to manipulate me, and why I was vulnerable to it. I will be posting the parts I think may be helpful to others here on the net, in a series called "My story". It is a long story, so I'll spare the details - also, the spitirual aspect is personal to me, and I am not going into that - I am exploring the process of being absorbed into a rigid paradigm of thought, and accepting it. I'll post the first one in a while. In the meantime, the following arrived in my mail, and I was quite amused, wondering if the person was: a) genuine b) someone on staff trying to "cave" me in c) insane d) someone on staff trying to get my response in order to attack me at a later stage Note: those of you who are not familiar with the inner workings of Scientology, don't read on, it won't make any sense to you. "My story series" will be aimed at being understandable to everyone. My comments will be parenthesised. "*I really really really truell truelly AM NOT A SCIENO! I haven't had anything to do with them for 8 years. I can totally duplicate that you have had problems with them. I have had problems with them. They got me hooked. They told me all else fails, it's the one and only road to total freedom. I felt terrible. I was totally absorbed in it. I was totally absorbed with ARC breaks with staff and public. I was the effect. But then I realised. I realised that it was powerful stuff. I realised that it really did work for some. That they did make OT and Clear. But I still have no intention of going back. As I shall try other things out now. (this could be an attempt to "get in on my reality", make me think I have something in common with the person. Get me to talk. And very insiduously pressing on the "button" of accepting that this is the only way to spiritual freedom. The biggest lie, that I bought, that I had the most difficulty in giving up.) "I gave them a shot. They gave me a shot. I failed,. They failed. We failed to make it go right. So I am here and now and I have no regrets. People expect to much from them. They expect that somebody will make them Clear or OT. You have to be gung-ho and totally dedicated. You need the intention and postulates. You need to make it go right. It is a self-help group and they give you a push and a shove. They help you. They try. But you are the one who needs to do it. Some fail, alot fail. (This is has such a familiar ring - Sea-Org speak) "But in the end, I have the books, the materials, the time. It's very valuable tech. It's very usable. It's the best tech on life on the planet that I know of. You can use it at home, if you can confront. Many cases such as Black V's have a problem, no mockups, now they are really done. But if you can as-is facsimiles of pain, and get the somatic you are away on a tremendous journey. Most cases it seems are so low on the scale, it takes almost a miracle to get them up and going, in my opinion. You are looking at very dead thetans, in my opinion." (Interesting. This person is telling me to try and audit myself at home. This is off-policy - an attempt to get me to "reverse process" myself? To wind myself up in a hole? I KNOW what bad processing can do. I won't fall for it again. Pressing my "ego" button, to get me to see if I am higher up than these Black V's? Running on the principle that a thetan is inherently curious, getting up my curiousity - perhaps they will supply the processes I should run on myself?) "I don't think Scientology should be attacked, I think it should be helped. It's in a jam externally and internally, and there are too many people making too many problems, there is not enough love to go around (just like Genesis). so there it is. If you were interested in helping yourself to higher states, try Eckankar, Monroe's OOBE tapes, etc.." (maybe the person IS genuine, eh? Or maybe they're just trying to make me feel safe...) I think you are a genuine person. But you need to be more than genuine to win. You need to be able as well. You seem to be just sitting in a hole, waiting for somebody to help you out of it. If you wanted to help, I am sure you would do something, if not for yourself, then for others. You are creating problems for the little wee scienos." (interesting, again. The old "help" button - I had that pushed SO many times, the desire to help others. Also, pushing the button of saying I'm waiting for somebody to help me. Trying to get me angry enough to "get out of my apathy" maybe - an application of "tone scale tech"? Also, by making "the scienos" out to be small, trying to create a false sense of security in me?) "You can yak on for days, about all the bitterness inside, but it won't solve a thing.. I know, I've been through the hate bit. Hate is an emotion. Can people be trusted? In the end, you just have to be able to survive, if you reply on others for your survival you are just another parasite sucking off another." (The only thing I actually will respond to : it is precisely BECAUSE I have assumed responsiblity for my own spirituality, and precisely BECAUSE I refuse to "live off others" that I left Scientology. The paradox is : YOU must make it go right, BUT you can ONLY do that withIN Scientology. A paradox, and a lie.) So there it is, folks. This person is either genuine, and I would say rather messed up after his/her years in Scientology, in which case it is sad. Or, this was a carefully thought-out strategy, aimed as an attack on me. Either way, it doesn't really matter, I just found it amusing. Kim Baker Nothing can stop me now!