Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology From: Kim Baker Subject: MY STORY : PART 9 Date: Mon, 12 Dec 1994 10:26:21 +0000 BEING A SCIENTOLOGIST ON A.R.S And so, I started posting as a Scientologist to a.r.s. I received private communications from a few Scientologists who lurk here - "Welcome back to the Theta world" type of thing - there weren't many - about 5, after the infamous "Doubt announcement" posting. I was not allowed to join the Scientologist forum, "Theta-L" until I had worked my way up into a condition of "Normal" (this would take QUITE a while). And that's when they made their first mistake. Because at that stage, I was totally committed to being a Scientologist. They denied me communication, as a punishment, I suppose, but they did NOT realise how much communication I was receiving in private from the members of a.r.s - "Delete all entheta mail" they said - but how could I delete messages which showed nothing but care and concern? To me, those messages were NOT entheta, and so I read them, each and every one. To all of those who wrote to me then, I say THANK YOU - your strongest weapon was the fact that you CARED, you genuinely CARED, and that reached deep, deep in, below all the mind-control, and touched me. It played a MAJOR role in helping me finally break with the Church. A NOTE ABOUT DENNIS AND I Most of you will remember the fracas between Dennis Erlich and I, when he posted my private e-mail. He took MAJOR heat over that, and I feel it necessary to explain my part in it. When I first arrived on a.r.s., I befriended him in private, and we became good friends. Then, when I suddenly turned, I stopped communicating with him. He became convinced that I was an OSA operative, and thought I had been all along - I DON'T BLAME him - when you have been in as deep into the Church as he has, when you have been betrayed by double-double- counter agents as many times as he has, what else could he think? In fact, and THIS is the REAL danger of mind-control - NO-ONE instructed me to go for Dennis, I decided, from my Scientology mind- set, that Dennis was to be attacked, because he has been declared a Suppressive person. And now I am going to open up and expose a part of myself that I am DEEPLY, deeply ashamed of. I had seen the hopelessly incompetent attempts of the Scientologists to try and "handle" a.r.s. - embarressingly stupid. Brian Wenger's posting of Dennis's files onto the net was just IDIOTIC. All that did was disgust everyone. So, I saw what was needed and wanted - "handle" a.r.s - start by exposing Dennis Erlich as a Suppressive. But let him do it HIMSELF. So, I provoked Dennis. I manoevred him into a position where he had no choice but to attack me (CRINGE - I knew he cared enough to do it, if he didn't care, he would have left it, because he's no fool, he knew EXACTLY what I was doing - I USED his care for me against him!!) He also knew, that I was a bit brighter than most of the Scientologists here, and he knew that I was dangerous - he tried to warn others, and with good reason - because I knew what I was going to do next to handle a.r.s. - go for the sharp ones, individually - Martin had quite a tussle with me, in private, but I backed off. I couldn't coninue with it, it sickened me. And so Dennis went for me. Only he and I knew what was really going on. He got flamed. My strategy was a success. It turned many people (not all, some saw through it) against him. How were you all to know what you were dealing with??? THIS is the deviousness that mind- control creates. I am really, really sorry everyone. If you feel disgust for me, I understand. I feel utter disgust for myself, that I sunk to such depths. And that I was so good at it. No, I still don't think publishing private e-mail without the person's permission is acceptable. But in this one instance, it was all Dennis could do. Dennis and I are friends again. We have made up, he has forgiven me. He understands. I am still ashamed of it, I still have to work through my guilt. More to follow in Part 10 Kim Baker