THE KNIGHTS OF XENU, AND CHURCH OF XENOLOGY
                     (by Jerry Ladd)

The Knights of  Xenu  is kind of  like the Knights  of Columbus -
from the Catholic Church.   The Knights (KoX)  are members in the
Church  of  Xenology;  and  we  believe it _IS_ the  Followers of
Phatmanotoo (FOP$) that's spreading all this Xenophobia around.

The  Knights spiritually willed  Xenu  out  of  his  Prison  in a
mountain at the end of a cul de sac in Shadow Hills,  CA in 1989.
This property was owned by several OT VIII's and transferred to a
car leasing company, with an address giving as the Cedars Complex
on  Fountain Av. in Hollywood. Guess who Xenu's captors have been
for these 75,000,000 years?

Yes,  Xenu is FREE at last!   Now he will tell the true  story of
what happened  75,000,000  years ago--the  real  E-vil culprit is
Phatmanotoo,  that we at KoX just refer to as "Phatmanotoo", "The
Phatard", or "the Fat Man".

Xenu  was like  the Moor  in Othello;  Phatmanotoo was like E-VIL
Iago.  Phatmanotoo  said  Xenu  dropped the nuclear bombs  in the
volcanos,  when in fact it  was Phatmanotoo -  the Fat  Man, as a
scheme to make a lot of money.

75,000,000  years ago the e-vil Phatmanotoo -  with  the  head of
red-haired,  bass-lipped man,    and  the  body  of  a manattoui,
slithered up the side of a volcano,  on  the planet Gushishitiki,
and  dropped in  an  atom  bomb;  because,  Xenu  had  given "The
Phatard"  an 'F'  in a Nuclear Science class,  at  what  was then
called  "George  Washington  University".   (There  is  a similar
institution today - 75,000,000 years later!!!)  

Why do we refer to Phatmanotoo as "The Phatard" ?   The word comes
from  the _ancient_ Greek verb  "Phatar":   'To  fatten,  as with
food,  the work of slaves,  and money-laundered currencies of all
nations'; and "Bastard": 'any irregular, inferior, or counterfeit
thing.'

For his high crimes,  Phatmanotoo went through various cycles, as
ants,  slugs,  vultures,  sharks, etc.; until he found a pregnant
woman in Nebraska in the early 1900's.  The rest is history.

The spiritual message of the Church of Xenu  is FREE.   Xenu is a
kind,  charitable spirit who believes giving is more blessed that
taking.  The Knights of Xenu, are the messengers of the Church of
Xenu--their  mission is  to  set the record  straight.   It  is a
loosely  organized  group:   Anyone  who  helps  set  the  record
straight may call themselves Knights of Xenu,  and members of the
Church of Xenu.   And, of course, as Church members, they may not
be frivolously sued for their religious activities, or beliefs.

By definition,  anyone  who  is  opposed  to  oppression,  or the
victimization  of  persons;   animals,  and  all  creatures,  are
Xenologists.   (What do  the FOP$  have as a  membership?  Maybe,
50,000  at best?  9999^99/10,0000^99 (or better), of the galactic
universe are  Xenologists!   And  have  been  -  even  before the
beginning of time.   Wow!  Is there any wonder that  there is _so
much_ ALPHA - ("entheta" to the FOP$) - out there!

If Phatmanotoo, was ruled in court to be "a virtual pathological
liar", (Judge Breckenridge,  Armstrong  Decision),  then wouldn't
"entheta"  really be  the truth?   The  Knights  of  Xenu  are by
definition  -  and  viewed  with  hatred  by  FOP$  (Followers of
Phatmanotoo)  -  to be "entheta".  What FOP$ call entheta, is our
basic,  whole religious beliefs system.  We believe entheta to be
"Alpha"  -  Truth,  the beginning or  first  of  everything.  The
Cosmos cannot truly be  fair  to nature and spirits,  unless that
which is first and beginning, is the TRUTH. 

                     AND NOT HALF-TRUTH!!!

Our spiritual beings are referred to as "Alphians".  Xenu was the
first Alphian.   These  are the basic  tenets  of  the  Church of
Xenology,  Xenologists,  and messengered by the Knights  of Xenu,
(KoX).   The FOP$ crazy ideas - "The Fopi$$ity" (Their whole, and
total belief system) is "Enalpha".

Now, lets all join in to set the record straight, and rewrite the
history of  Xenu  correctly.   All  good men  inherently know the
History -  it comes to  them through divine inspiration.   LET IT
FLOW!

BTW,  They will speak against  us Xenologists,  and we will "turn
the  other cheek".   However,  the FOP$  have said they are not a
"turn-the-other-cheek religion".   If, fact they may take ACTION,
and commit ACTS of religious hatred  directed at the  Knights and
Xenologists.   For Example they may inflict mayhem upon us by the
use of a private investigator  dirtier-than-dung, with absolutely
no conscience at all.  This would be an ACT  of religious hatred,
and is quite illegal.

Join us.   Affix (KoX) to your signature.  Think of it as a cross
to   repel  blood-sucking-vampires-that-prey-on-the-weak.   (And,
catch Tom Cruise  as  "Lestat"  the vampire -  coming  soon  to a
theatre near you.)

Welcome all yea Knights!


CO XMO B1, Knights of Xenu (KoX)

Jerry Ladd (Xenologist [a "religion"] since 1989)

                                              "Everything must go."
                                                    -Wild Palms