From: cultxpt@primenet.com (Jeff Jacobsen) Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Subject: Sucker Pullers (tm) Date: 4 Oct 1994 02:49:57 GMT After spanning the globe doing research into the mind, and spending years doing exacting scientific research, I have discovered a method to sharply increase a person's IQ, eliminate asthma, and improve personality. First, shave a 3" circle directly above each ear. Then, purchase 2 of the Church of the Government Protected Word, specially designed Sucker Puller (tm) suction cups (in your favorite color!). Squish one directly into the middle of each shaved area. Now, with your first finger in the handle of each Sucker Puller (tm), gently pull out on both SP's (Sucker Puller shortened) at the same time. DON'T do this while driving. Keep pulling and releasing in a comfortable rhythm for approximately 15 minutes in the morning and evening. While you are doing this, clear your mind of any thoughts whatsoever. For an even greater effect, you may have our licensed, highly trained Field Sucker Manipulators (FSM's) come and do the process for you in the most precise, spot on method known to mankind. A sliding scale of donations has been set up for your convenience. This method has been scientifically tested on 263 subjects with 100% results. Any confident laboratory should easily be able to validate this process and its amazing improvements on health, IQ, and social skills. Oh, sure, there are those skeptics out there, but to them I say, get your own Sucker Pullers (tm) and try it yourself! It's the only way you'll know if it's true or not! All the research has already been done for you! Shave your head and do it! The fate of mankind rests with you. -- ------------ cultxpt@primenet.com President, Dictator, Founder (CGPW) Jeff Jacobsen CHURCH OF THE GOVERNMENT PROTECTED WORD PO Box 3541 send lots of money to become a member Scottsdale AZ 85271 BT's and Clusters R Us