Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Subject: ClamBust: The official ARS game From: Alvin Brattli Date: 03 Sep 1996 00:41:23 +0200 All the positive response I got from the ARS community regarding my visit to the Chicago org this summer (where I got the L. Ron Hubbard mousepad) inspired me to try do my share to bring entertainment to all the critics here on ARS. So here it is -- Devised in Norway, far away from the nearest org/mission, by Alvin "Lost Soul" Brattli -- for your entertainment: The official ARS game [Drumroll] ClamBust v1.0! The rules are easy: 1. IMPORTANT! Make sure you are immune to Scientology propaganda and hard sell techniques by reading alot of material critical of Dianetics/Scientology. A good starting point would be the following URLs: http://www.cybercom.net/~rnewman/scientology/home.html http://home.pacific.net.sg/~marina/index.html http://www.tiac.net/users/modemac/cos.html http://www.xs4all.nl/~kspaink/index.html Remember, the more you read, the more immune you get, and the more fun you will have playing this game! 2. Go to your nearest org or mission. 3. Start a conversation with a scientologist, and count the points as they keep coming! Enjoy! BASIC SCORING SCHEME: * For each minute spent - watching a video or multimedia presentation containing Dianetics or Scientology propaganda............none(*) - talking to a scientologist................................2 pts - in a session with the E-meter.............................3 pts * Taking the free personality test (OCA) and having it analyzed.....................................10 pts * Taking the IQ test and having it analyzed..................10 pts * Asking a question about Xenu, the Marcabs, Body Thetans, clams, and other "secret", high-level stuff (note: must be different question each time)................5 pts each * Having a staff member responding to your question by changing the subject...........................10 pts each time * Getting the conversation back onto the subject.............15 pts each time * Reciting text from the OT material (>= OT 3)...............20 pts each time * Being told by a scientologist that "Scientology can help you with that".......................15 pts each time * Being transferred to another staff member being better at PTS/SP handling..................................50 pts each time * Telling stories about Xenu, the Marcabs, Body Thetans, how man descended from clams, etc. to fellow wogs inside the org..............................50 pts each time ...and not being kicked out................................75 pts each time BONUS POINTS: * Refusing to buy an item (book/booklet/tape/whatever)........5 pts per item * Refusing to give them your real name and address............5 pts * Failing the pinch test.....................................10 pts ...while trying to succeed.................................60 pts * If all your OCA personality characteristics are better than average....................................10 pts * If all your OCA personality characteristics are below average..........................................20 pts * Being given the "death stare" by a staff member............20 pts * Bringing a stop watch and keeping scores on paper (or computer/programmable calculator)......................20 pts * Heckling the movie (or throwing popcorn while watching)....25 pts * Getting a free Scientology/Dianetics/L. Ron Hubbard souvenir (such as an L. Ron Hubbard Mousepad)..............25 pts * Being kicked out from the org/mission......................25 pts ...AND being referred to as a "lost soul" (or something similar) by a staff member...................50 pts * Having your picture taken by a staff member................50 pts * Fondling the L. Ron Hubbard torso..........................50 pts * Putting your jacket on the L. Ron Hubbard bronze torso.....50 pts * Switching the org movie with a porn movie..................50 pts * Falling asleep while watching a video or multimedia presentation with Scientology propaganda...................50 pts each time * If a scientologist wakes you up............................50 pts each time * Having a staff member admit a contradiction in L. Ron Hubbard's teachings.................................75 pts each time * Sitting down at L. Ron Hubbards desk......................100 pts * Stealing the Kools from L. Ron Hubbards desk..............200 pts * Smoking the Kools while still inside the org..............400 pts * Being declared SP.........................................500 pts (*) All Dianetics and Scientology videos are by definition boring, and it requires no skill whatsoever just sitting there and watch it. aLViN -- | | | ------------------------------------- | | All science is either physics or | | stamp collecting -- Ernest Rutherford |